Home > fun, personal > Impressive? Um…no.

Impressive? Um…no.

Yesterday we were getting ready to head to the beach for the first time this year. It was shaping up to be a wonderful day off with the fam. My son had been wanting to play some bball in the street for some time. First we had to find the ball, when we finally did I then told him I would play with him on Friday. So Friday came and we’re packing up the van, we’re in our swim suits and sandals, I decide to shoot around with them. We play for a few minutes (anything to get out of packing the van, right?) I see my beautiful wife glancing over at us as I do around the back passes to the boys and praise them for their buzzer beaters, etc. She’s pleased with the sight. Should’ve left it at that.

We were literally one minute from hitting the road, and I had to leave on a high note, had to impress the wife, even though she already accepted me and tied the knot with me almost 11 years ago! I told her, “this one’s for you”! I proceeded to shoot this smaller size ball and a low hoop and having miscalculated the ball barely hits the front of the rim, but hits the curb hard and shoots out into the street. I then proceed to chase it down and stop it with a now soccer-like move. Remember that bit about us being in sandals?

I’ve got to blame this on something. Can’t blame it on the boys forcing me to play against my will. That is untrue and would be wrong on so many levels. I can’t blame myself, because since the garden of eden, who does that? I got it. I’ll blame it on those stupid sandals.

I don’t do flip flops. I can’t stand the thing between my toes. I can’t run in them. As you can see, these aren’t flip flops, but they’re no good for running in either. the open toe design and the fact that I need new, better fitting ones led to a horrible accident. These are so worn and loose fitting that, I don’t know what happened exactly, and when I revisit it in my mind I still get light-headed and nauseous.

Needless to say, our trip to the beach was replaced with a screaming buffoon and a gross set of phalanges. The wife I tried to impress was now nursing me back to health in a bathroom scene much too graphic for this family friendly blog. After a quick trip to the store for tape and gauze, we applied the stinging hydrogen peroxide and antibiotic cream to the fresh wound.

If I couldn’t impress her with my athletic ability, what’s the next best thing? Even when I was athletic I would always try and make her laugh. Well, now she was laughing at me, after the skin regained its color, that is. As I limped around the house, she laughed.  After seeing that my little toe turned sort of purpleish and was definitely either jammed or broken, she apologized for laughing.

But I’m laughing too. What a silly unfortunate thing this all turned out to be. And for what? It was so pointless! I don’t have to impress her, she’s already mine. and accepts me for who I am, crazy accidents and all.

I found this equation to be so very true (try and avoid its fate):

Stupid sandals + street bball + trying to impress wife = broken toe and more!

All in all, she’s worth still trying to impress…or at least making her laugh.

Happy mother’s day, Em. Sorry for ruining the beach trip. Thanks for being a great wife/ nurse and the most wonderful mother to 4 beautiful-like-you kiddos!

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Categories: fun, personal
  1. Tammy
    May 8, 2011 at 2:53 am

    Great story, Greg! I would blame it on testosterone, if I were you. It makes guys do all sorts of dumb things! lol

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